🔴 BREAKING: VC says "we love the space" — founder has 90 days of runway left VALUATION CAP ↑ 12% after deck got a new font TERM SHEET RECEIVED: founder cries in bathroom PIVOT #4 complete — investors "excited about the new direction" 🔴 DILUTION ALERT: Series A closed, founder now owns 14% COLD EMAIL to tier-1 VC: "we're not writing checks right now" RUNWAY EXTENDED: founder stopped paying themselves UPDATE MEETING: 47 slides, 0 decisions made 🔴 BREAKING: VC says "we love the space" — founder has 90 days of runway left VALUATION CAP ↑ 12% after deck got a new font TERM SHEET RECEIVED: founder cries in bathroom PIVOT #4 complete — investors "excited about the new direction" 🔴 DILUTION ALERT: Series A closed, founder now owns 14% COLD EMAIL to tier-1 VC: "we're not writing checks right now" RUNWAY EXTENDED: founder stopped paying themselves UPDATE MEETING: 47 slides, 0 decisions made
Est. in a coffee shop with 2% runway

The VC world,
as told by the other side of the table.

Fundraising intel, startup war stories, and the unfiltered truth about building a company. Read by founders who've heard "not right for us at this stage" one too many times.

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Average time to first close
what they don't put in the case studies
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Every founder has a collection of them. "Let's stay in touch." "Come back when you have more traction." "We'd love to see the next round." These phrases live in a grey zone between hope and rejection, and VCs deploy them with surgical precision. We decoded the entire vocabulary — with real examples.

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VC-to-English Translator™ Full dictionary →
What they said:
"We love the space."
Translation: We are not investing but want to keep tabs on you in case someone else does.
What they said:
"Come back with more traction."
Translation: We have no conviction. Prove us wrong and we'll pretend we were always interested.
What they said:
"It's a valuation issue."
Translation: We do not believe in your company enough to argue about price. Lower it and we still won't invest.
What they said:
"We're close to getting conviction."
Translation: We are 0% close. This is how we buy time without officially passing.
What they said:
"The timing isn't right for us."
Translation: We are at the end of a fund cycle and don't want to admit it. Or: just a no.
What they said:
"We'd love to co-invest alongside a lead."
Translation: We want the upside without the work of due diligence. Find someone else to take the risk first.
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